So, the overwhelming majority of things I post about on my blog are happy.  I mean, some of them are so happy that it is almost downright obnoxious!  So, this post and those that may follow might seem sad to you.  It may even be uncomfortable for you to look at these images...and that is okay.  For me to not post them, though, would go against my instinct to share everything with you.  I am not a one trick pony, and I fall in love with all emotions on camera...not just the happy ones.  My heart overflows with the desire to help others see how incredible they are, and I feel that my way to do this is through my camera.  I literally "show the love".

Photographing Carson Richardson's visitation and celebration of life was a life changing experience for me.  Though my brides and grooms and parents of babies trust me, the way that the Richardson family trusted me was a trust like no other.  I had to honor it and photograph with the grace of a prima ballerina and the strength of a lion...simultaneously!  My experiences as a mom, as well as my education through Foundation Workshop prepared me for this job, though nothing can REALLY prepare you for something like this.  I also think the universe was aligned for me that day to focus on giving this family the gift that they couldn't begin to give themselves and to reflect back to them what amazingly brave and beautiful people they are.  I was the mirror, and I'm so glad they chose me for that role.  That being said, I was no robot, shooting off frames.  It was literally the hardest thing I have had to photograph.   Surely enough, I wept minutes from the end of the grave site ceremony when I saw one of my best friends, Natalie, holding her son Law (one of Carson's buddies) who was FINALLY breaking down.  I kept photographing, and that is what I am truly proud of.  I've never felt stronger than in that moment, and I will carry it with me forever.

Just to give you a bit more to chew on, here is a part of an email I sent Carson's mom, Kimberly, when I presented her with a slideshow of my images:

First of all, I do want to thank you for trusting me.  This was an experience like one I have never had, and I feel like I was given a great blessing and a wonderful lesson about life, love, friendships, and then some.  I could not have taken these images or have been so enlightened without you really accepting me and allowing me to do so, so thank you.  In a somewhat surreal, and even fate-like (or God-planned) way, I feel like we could be great friends after sharing such an intimate and personal experience.  As I clicked the shutter, I felt.  As I watched you through my viewfinder, I felt.  As I edited each image, I felt.  I will never walk in your exact pair of shoes, but I feel like I was there with you vicariously through my camera, and I just want you to know that my heart was with you and Ryan, as a fellow parent, every step of both days that I photographed.  I didn't get the chance to know Carson very well, but I think that was God's mission for him...to bring people together who might not have done so without him, and to bring those who were already together, closer.  What a tribute to your little boy!  He affected hundreds of lives and relationships in ways we might never even know.  =)

Hugs to your entire family, and please thank them for being so gracious to me as I captured one of the hardest days of their lives.  I pray that the images give you all some sort of comfort.  Carson's life story is beautiful, no doubt.  What is equally beautiful is the story of the people who surrounded him.  I am so, so incredibly honored that I got to tell it.