Oh, how I hope they never end. At least 5 times a week, Mills treats us to an impromptu dance recital, complete with leotard and ballet slippers. Sometimes, she hums to provide music. Other times, she instructs us to sing. (If anyone ever heard me, I'd die of embarrassment, but I'd do anything for her!)
She's almost 5 years old, and I am starting to get a little sentimental and reminiscent of her baby days. Millie is such a special, magnetic little creature, and while I am so proud of all of her advancements, I want to cling to this spot...right here...where she is still a 4 year old and can dance like the free spirit she is and not even know what embarrassment feels like. I want to savor the way she is so absolutely unaffected by image concerns or what other people want her to be. Millie is who Millie wants to be.
She is a girl who is positively in love with dance and music and swimming and fabrics and the idea of being a vet or doctor and adores smaller children and giving them a slice of her kind heart to help them. She creates names for things that make them even more delightful---her plastic dress-up shoes are her "Smithy Janes", for instance. Not quite Manolos or even really Jeffrey Campbells, especially since the Snow White medallion has fallen off of one of the shoes and she is missing the bows from the other pair, but I think Smithy Janes is quite possibly the coolest name I've ever heard. Millie appreciates offbeat senses of humor and all things pink and swoons over Anthropologie store-bought items like a 30 year old housewife and loves a good Latin beat. She's into fancy cheeses and goes bonkers for sea salt and vinegar chips and really enjoys fine dining and thinks Taylor Swift is a goddess and that is just the way I like my Millie. True to herself.
I'm not sure what will happen down the road. Knowing myself and the control freak that I am, I know I will hover and protect until I can hover and protect no more. I don't want that to become a problem, but what she embodies is so completely precious and I don't want her to become like me...someone who, while projecting this image that I don't care and am so confident about myself and my style and my decisions, really does have a need (sometimes small, sometimes big) to be validated. I know that need is human, but it is also shaped by society, and right now...I'm just going to cling to this spot...right here. I'm going to relish the beauty and freedom that my sweet Millie possesses. I might even try to learn from it.
She's almost 5 years old, and I am starting to get a little sentimental and reminiscent of her baby days. Millie is such a special, magnetic little creature, and while I am so proud of all of her advancements, I want to cling to this spot...right here...where she is still a 4 year old and can dance like the free spirit she is and not even know what embarrassment feels like. I want to savor the way she is so absolutely unaffected by image concerns or what other people want her to be. Millie is who Millie wants to be.
She is a girl who is positively in love with dance and music and swimming and fabrics and the idea of being a vet or doctor and adores smaller children and giving them a slice of her kind heart to help them. She creates names for things that make them even more delightful---her plastic dress-up shoes are her "Smithy Janes", for instance. Not quite Manolos or even really Jeffrey Campbells, especially since the Snow White medallion has fallen off of one of the shoes and she is missing the bows from the other pair, but I think Smithy Janes is quite possibly the coolest name I've ever heard. Millie appreciates offbeat senses of humor and all things pink and swoons over Anthropologie store-bought items like a 30 year old housewife and loves a good Latin beat. She's into fancy cheeses and goes bonkers for sea salt and vinegar chips and really enjoys fine dining and thinks Taylor Swift is a goddess and that is just the way I like my Millie. True to herself.
I'm not sure what will happen down the road. Knowing myself and the control freak that I am, I know I will hover and protect until I can hover and protect no more. I don't want that to become a problem, but what she embodies is so completely precious and I don't want her to become like me...someone who, while projecting this image that I don't care and am so confident about myself and my style and my decisions, really does have a need (sometimes small, sometimes big) to be validated. I know that need is human, but it is also shaped by society, and right now...I'm just going to cling to this spot...right here. I'm going to relish the beauty and freedom that my sweet Millie possesses. I might even try to learn from it.
This post made me cry. And I don't even have children. Beautifully written Kate, and such honest, pure, raw sentiment. Your mother's love pours right off of this page.
(09.25.10 @ 12:28 PM)Kate, I know just how you feel about wanting to cling to this age. When my now seven year old Kenzie turned five I had such a hard time thinking that I only had three more of that specific block of time before she was a woman. And how could that be possible! She was just a baby a short time ago! And now my four year old Daphne will be turning five soon and I'm beside myself trying to capture it all. Video and images will help to preserve your memories, but there is nothing like this type of journaling along side to truly capture the essence of these moments. You remind us all to slow down enough to notice and appreciate and express with the written word all the little 'Smithy Jane' moments of our children. You are a great teacher of 'clinging to a moment' with your incredible images and especially the way you capture your daughter with words. She will be forever grateful.
(09.23.10 @ 08:22 AM)She is so precious and lively with so much personality - just like her mom! I love her pictures!
(09.17.10 @ 04:02 PM)Ya know, sometimes I come on here and don't really know what to say, because your photos and blog entries go beyond simple "here is a pic of someone" and really dig into the life of the person in the images. And how do you compliment that? "Nice life"? Lol! I guess what I'm trying to say is that you capture so much more in your photos and posts than simple images. There is a real slice of life here that really grabs me each time.
(09.15.10 @ 10:54 AM)She is the most vivid expression of my love for you!
(09.14.10 @ 03:33 PM)Kate,
(09.14.10 @ 12:04 PM)Millie is who she is because of you.....she has had HER camera on since the day she came into this world. You and Bobby have lead Millie to the "Smithy Janes" wonderment of childhood, and I have no doubt whatsoever that your immense love for her will be a true source of compassion and whimsy throughout her life. What a wonderful magical time it is....indeed!
You're a book I want to read. Your little princess is gorgeous! I love these shots. She'll love to read this one day (sweet 16 perhaps?) and I'm sure she'll ball like we all did as we read this :). Just lovely.
(09.12.10 @ 09:34 PM)Kate, you did a beautiful job of putting words around what I think is in every woman's heart. Oh how we want to be free - free of judgments, of weighty expectations, of embarrassments, of letting others down, etc. We want to somehow get back to that stage that Millie is in right now. So I love what you captured here, and I'm proud of you for being brave enough to put it into words and for "hovering" so that Millie can enjoy it for as long as possible.
(09.12.10 @ 06:45 PM)