So, this morning, I woke up kinda feeling like this:
Thanks for being a big part of my life and I hope that you know that you mean a lot to me!
It's my 34th birthday. Yeah, I said it. 34th. Not 24th. I'm old. I'm in my mid-thirties. I have a few wrinkles, a couple of gray hairs that I most definitely get colored, and my knees hurt right before it rains. While I wouldn't say that I am experiencing a midlife crisis, I have certainly been hyper-reflective over the past few days. Certainly.
There have been some major changes in my life over the past 12 months. Even looking at who is sending me birthday wishes has been very telling. I have parted ways with 2 supposed best friends---one that I had for years and one slightly newer one. The heartbreak from those losses has been healed, but not forgotten. My relationship with my father was tested yet again, as I opened my heart to the possibility of repairing what had been broken, only to realize that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. My mom and I have been on a roller-coaster but are on even ground as of today, hallelujah.
On a more positive note, there have been multiple things that have changed me for the better. The friendships I have made through the Foundation Workshop Forum (Team Heavy Flowpose for life: Kathryn Krueger, Ed Atrero, Jan Garcia, & Ryan Jones---represent!) have made my life so much richer in so many ways, especially over this past year. It continually blows my mind at times how people I so rarely see in person can offer such support, laughter, and care. I have also made peace with the burnout that comes with having your passion as your profession...there is so much joy that can come from seeing the image and letting it pass by as you take delight in it. My compulsive nature has calmed, at least where my camera is concerned. I've also learned to not shrink from being fabulous, to treat my body as a temple, and to be okay with that fact that I just love smutty reality television. Real Housewives drama is better that real live drama...always.
Though there have been many shifts, there are those things that are unchanged and will not be changed and make me proud to be me. I continue to love with my whole heart, no matter if it opens me up to possible hurt and rejection. I sometimes lose in that, but the wins are soooo worth it! I am still the open book I have always been...authentic to the day I die. My Bobby and My Millie (and even Noopsy and the new addition, Hazel) are the end all, and I love waking up each morning knowing that I have them by my side, often hand in hand.
And now, I'm gonna quite possibly bore you. Here are the 3 quotes that keep me being me:
1) Be not inhospitable to strangers, lest they be angels in disguise.
2) Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
There have been some major changes in my life over the past 12 months. Even looking at who is sending me birthday wishes has been very telling. I have parted ways with 2 supposed best friends---one that I had for years and one slightly newer one. The heartbreak from those losses has been healed, but not forgotten. My relationship with my father was tested yet again, as I opened my heart to the possibility of repairing what had been broken, only to realize that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. My mom and I have been on a roller-coaster but are on even ground as of today, hallelujah.
On a more positive note, there have been multiple things that have changed me for the better. The friendships I have made through the Foundation Workshop Forum (Team Heavy Flowpose for life: Kathryn Krueger, Ed Atrero, Jan Garcia, & Ryan Jones---represent!) have made my life so much richer in so many ways, especially over this past year. It continually blows my mind at times how people I so rarely see in person can offer such support, laughter, and care. I have also made peace with the burnout that comes with having your passion as your profession...there is so much joy that can come from seeing the image and letting it pass by as you take delight in it. My compulsive nature has calmed, at least where my camera is concerned. I've also learned to not shrink from being fabulous, to treat my body as a temple, and to be okay with that fact that I just love smutty reality television. Real Housewives drama is better that real live drama...always.
Though there have been many shifts, there are those things that are unchanged and will not be changed and make me proud to be me. I continue to love with my whole heart, no matter if it opens me up to possible hurt and rejection. I sometimes lose in that, but the wins are soooo worth it! I am still the open book I have always been...authentic to the day I die. My Bobby and My Millie (and even Noopsy and the new addition, Hazel) are the end all, and I love waking up each morning knowing that I have them by my side, often hand in hand.
And now, I'm gonna quite possibly bore you. Here are the 3 quotes that keep me being me:
1) Be not inhospitable to strangers, lest they be angels in disguise.
2) Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
3) Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Thanks for being a big part of my life and I hope that you know that you mean a lot to me!
Kate, Kate, my Kate! This whole post sums up the reason why I love you! You are so authentic, so talented, so lovely, so compassionate, so funny, so lovable, so - ok, I could go on and on forever, but you get the point. You are such a genuinely terrific person, and I am so blessed to have met you 2 1/2 years ago! I look forward to see where life takes us and what it throws our way! Thank you for being so honest and so wonderful!
(01.03.11 @ 08:23 PM)So it's *your* birthday, but you give *us* the gift?! That just shows what a sweet, genuine and giving person you are, Kate and Bill and I are better people because we know you, your hilarious and sweet husband, and of course, super adorable and oh, so sweet, Millie. Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself, your wisdom and your family with us and all of your readers. Belated, but warm, birthday wishes and hugs from chilly VA. Looking forward to seeing you next month in Austin! xoxo....a&b PS - Oh, and 34 is SO not old! ;-D
(12.31.10 @ 01:44 PM)You had me in tears!! I love that you are so open about everything and can share your secrets to all of us! You are one of the most amazing, beautiful, and clearly fabulous ladies I have ever met. I love ya Kate!!!
(12.30.10 @ 09:10 PM)Kate, I am so very glad to have read this beautiful post! I love that you can share intimate details of yourself freely, that in itself is a very powerful thing. Only getting to speak to you for a small moment at the Foundation Conference makes me a little sad, and also makes me look forward to FW9 to get to know you better. You obviously have an amazing heart and have a lot to teach those who are blessed to know you. I'll just be hitting the big "40" right before the workshop so this blog post is a nice thing to have to hold on to! Thank you:)
(12.30.10 @ 07:15 PM)i think, my wise friend, that i am gonna reflect on that.... and maybe follow suit on my deprived little blog. you inspire me always kate mefford! thanks for the birthday kick in the ass today! :) ( i also take great comfort in knowing that the foot in which you kicked said ass, was no doubt wearing a super darling shoe.) happy day to us both!
(12.30.10 @ 12:06 AM)Your reflections on turning 34 encourage and inspire me, just like your photos and the stories they tell. You should have no fear in celebrating your mid-thirties because you are one fun, bright, talented, kind, amazing gal who is just going to get even better with age. I can't wait to see what you'll be reflecting on when you are 40, 50, 60, etc.; I know it will be awesome and authentic! Happy birthday and may the TCU football team win the Rose Bowl in honor of your special day! Blessings to you!!!
(12.29.10 @ 09:42 PM)Kate my love, happy birthday! I am mesmorized by your design and your brilliance. You are incredible at what you do - living life well first and telling the stories of others' lives well. How delightful to have one of my best friends be someone who lives so honestly. I am better because I know you. May 34 be your most adventurous year yet. xoxo
(12.29.10 @ 06:18 PM)Kate! Thank you for being the amazing you that you are and sharing your heart with us! I'm so excited to meet you in person soon! :) That last quote is so deep... it will now be one of the quotes that keeps me going too! Gracias! Oh, and Happy Birthday! :)
(12.29.10 @ 06:00 PM)Happy Birthday Kate! You are fabulous and remind me to be too :) Love you! And my mini-Nancy, Mills!
(12.29.10 @ 05:48 PM)You are a beautiful person Kate, and I love your honesty and your brain. Thank you for sharing this, especially since I'm right behind you on 34!
(12.29.10 @ 05:43 PM)